Koi Dreams

I've been trying to develop a story around a little girl with an imagination. (Vague, I know.) I'm not sure if anything's going to come out of that yet, but here's a painting based on the idea.


Koi Dreams
Tools:
Pencil (Initial sketch), Photoshop CS4

WIPs:

I'm also working on a book dummy of Hans Christian Andersen's Princess and the Pea for class and here are some characters from that project! These are some nice princesses the prince meets early on. In my version of the story though, he likes them! Unfortunately they fail the pea test :( and he marries a chubby, snotty princess at the end. I'll have to thank my friend Pétur for giving me some great ideas in varying them up while I was designing these. They would've looked totally boring otherwise.


Princesses! (work in progress)
Haven't been sketching as much as I'd like to in the past month, but here are some that managed to come out looking quite alright.


Some quick gestures (pen and markers)


Randomly random randomness
And... more school work stuff!


Oil studies


First Venture (digital)


Valentine's Day mailer (reworked)
Children's Book Illustration class is such a joy to be part of! My classmates surprise my every week with their creativity and Angela's such wonderful and dedicated teacher. She has helped me a great deal with some of the pieces here. If you go to the Academy and are interested in children's books at all, I highly (highly, highly x10) recommend her class.

I hope all's well with everyone!

An update! Could it really be?

I promised my friend Andrew that I'll update, so here are some stuff from my humble sketchbook.


Doodles from the past two months
I've always been afraid of sketching. I mean, blank white sheet + traditional media + crazy talented peers around you; it's terrifying! Rarely did I go to drawing workshops and when I did, I'd pretend I was sketching the model. I'd be writing or something... nobody's allowed to look. My circle of friends (mostly artists) knew me as the one who didn't sketch. That's fine, but I hate being afraid of anything. So I've been sketching. It's frustrating at times, but it's becoming less scary and I've found that it can be quite freeing.


A few better composed pages from the sketchbook
Been thinking of going into children's books lately. This could be my new direction from now. Class with Angela at the Academy's been really exciting! Here's what I did for my first assignment. (holiday mailer)


Valentine's Day Mailer
I took some pictures of my room to show to my parents, but I thought I'd post them here as well.


(random sketch, children's books!, my room, my wardrobe)
Sorry I haven't updated in so long! I've been feeling a little lost and all over the place for the past year. Haven't been too productive either. =\ But I've been trying to get myself motivated lately, so that'll probably change. I hope to post again soon!

Bars of soap on oil

Absorption. Awareness. I feel a sense of detachment as I observe others. I could stare at a person and study their face, their expression, pretend I could read their thoughts and not be afraid that they'd notice. I like it. The ice in my fingertips, the chill in the air... these things should bother me but they don't.

Things are more fascinating than usual. The cars glide by ever so smoothly. Like bars of soap on oil. Oil thickly spread on bowling lanes. Is this what it's like? Everything is music. That loud honk from the truck sounds ridiculously melodious. It's easy to brush things off. Jealousy is irrelevant. Responsibilities? It feels so natural to be selfish.

Emotional pain tries to take me into its embrace. From behind, it hopes to take me by surprise. I'm not surprised. I stay silent, I don't fight it, I let it go through me. It will pass, and become... nothing. Soon, I will forget what the big deal is.

Hazel eyes, amber eyes, brown eyes. Eyes that stay as eyes. Kaleidoscopes of color and speckles. Windows of the soul- what bullshit.

Are you there?

Part of a conversation with a dear friend.


are you there?
The image of a girl listening to a seashell just came to me out of nowhere and the mood and atmosphere struck so clear that I had to draw it. Watching all 25 episodes of Soukyuu no Fafner in one sitting gave me the inspiration for the title, "are you there?" (anata wa soko ni imasu ka?) which is a recurring question throughout the series. The anime explores concepts like existence, choices and nothingness and although I'm not crazy about the art, the story was good and I really enjoy thought-provoking themes.

This piece isn't popular on deviantART, but I'm very proud of it. :)

Tools:
2B Pencil, Photoshop CS3, Wacom Graphire4

Typeface:
Peach Sundress by the incredibly young (19!), talented and generous Teagan White

Process:



I was invited as a guest artist to paint something for this year's Comic Fiesta 100 Days Countdown!


CF 2009 - Linedanser Coffy
This is Coffy, one of the event's mascot. (I took some liberties- her ears? I ate them.) You can read about Coffy and Tea here: [link]

I'll be having a table at Comic Fiesta this year, and I'm really excited because it's my first time ever! I'm busy making some last minute preparations now and I want to kill myself for not starting earlier.

Tools:
Photoshop CS3, Wacom Graphire4

Process:


The entire painting process looks so easy in the GIF! Gah. I swear, I spent almost an entire 24 hours just getting those fucking comic sheets right.

Uncomfortable Silences

It's 5.25am.

I don't know what I'm doing or feeling. Today (or yesterday) was actually a pretty good day. I met up with a bunch of people at Borders to sketch, and had a lot of fun talking to a friend from Belgium about our backgrounds and how we feel about being in a foreign country... and then we went to a place that made good burritos for dinner.

I'm not sure what happened, but I walked home feeling really sad. I didn't understand it at all. My wonderful roommates made me feel better for a while. And we talked about how Darren Hayes' "So Beautiful" made us feel. And I guess we all feel a little lonely inside because we decided in the end that it made us feel almost... envious. And happy and warm. But envious. I suddenly wanted someone to sing the song to.

Anyway. That wasn't really part of what I came on to write, I think.

I feel like I've never let anyone see me for who I truly am and I hate how it's so hard and how I just don't understand why I can't or don't. I wish words didn't exist so that there's no such thing as uncomfortable silences between people. I wish we didn't have to laugh and talk all the time to show that we like each other. I wish that language didn't exist because I think there's too huge a difference between how we really feel and what we say to express how we feel. I think a lot is lost in that transition.

My eyes hurt now. I feel stupid and lost and confused and it's too quiet. I think need an hour-long hug and I really want to go to the beach right now. I went with some friends on Friday and totally fell in love with the way it sounded and smelled.

The Dance of a Child Escapes Time

I finished the piece and even thought up a pretty title. Mummy and Daddy, hope you like!


The Dance of a Child Escapes Time
Tools:
Photoshop CS4, Wacom Graphire4, Straw Paper

WIPs:

Link to deviation:
[link]

Also, there's a one-page feature of my work in this month's ImagineFX issue. I saw it at Borders but it's so expensive! (15.99 USD + tax = RM60.52) *hyperventilates and dies* But Jon Woodward was kind enough to send me a scan of that page. :D


I met a whole bunch of crazy students from the Academy of Art on Monday. (There were 10 of us in total, sketching at the cafe at Borders.) It was totally awesome meeting a group of people who share the same passion! I feel quite intimidated too- they're all so good at what they do. Me, I still need to work being able to draw in front of others. I'm terrible at performing under pressure.

Been doing a lot of thinking too, about whether or not I want to further my studies and eventually lead a life here. I think I'm going to apply for the graduate program.

I still exist!

I still exist!

Okay, I feel really bad for not updating. I talked to my parents on the phone today and I'm suddenly reminded that my dad checks my blog really often. DADDDY, I'M SO SORRRRY!

So, what have I been up to? I'm working on 2 paintings and a short comic, and my excuse for not updating is because I don't really have anything completed yet. But posting a journal entry without any art in it is kinda against my personal blogging policies so... here are some WIPs.


(Currently Untitled)
Mum wanted something related to dancing for the new house. It's almost complete, I think? My sister thinks it's not clear that the little girl is dancing. I might want to fix that.


I am a watch (page one - draft)
A rough draft from my comic in the works. It's about a watch. I don't know.

I go to Borders really often these days. It's a great place to work because there's no internet! The Internet is Evil, Tempting and Distracting. Seeing people around me busy with their work gets me motivated to work hard too.

I love it here in San Francisco, although I miss my family. I really like the city and its people, I love how random people would come up to me and strike up a conversation and how the systems actually work here. I like that diversity is celebrated. It's been only 4 months and I already feel like I belong here.

Malaysia? I want to love Malaysia. The country where I was born. 22 years I've spent my life there, and I still don't feel 'included'. When the politicians say 'rakyat Malaysia', I hear 'bumiputra'. I want to love Malaysia. I really do.

But home. I wish it was just an hour away. My Mauritian roommates and I- we'd always talk about how good it would be if there's such a thing as teleportation... so that we won't have to choose. Why isn't it possible to be in two places at once?

Anyway, living here on my own has made me realize how hard my mum had it all these years, doing most of the work around the house on her own. I know it's ridiculous that it took me 22 years, but thank you Mum. And Dad too of course, for the support all these years!