Monday, August 31, 2009

I still exist!

I still exist!

Okay, I feel really bad for not updating. I talked to my parents on the phone today and I'm suddenly reminded that my dad checks my blog really often. DADDDY, I'M SO SORRRRY!

So, what have I been up to? I'm working on 2 paintings and a short comic, and my excuse for not updating is because I don't really have anything completed yet. But posting a journal entry without any art in it is kinda against my personal blogging policies so... here are some WIPs.

(Currently Untitled)

Mum wanted something related to dancing for the new house. It's almost complete, I think? My sister thinks it's not clear that the little girl is dancing. I might want to fix that.

I am a watch (page one - draft)

A rough draft from my comic in the works. It's about a watch. I don't know.

I go to Borders really often these days. It's a great place to work because there's no internet! The Internet is Evil, Tempting and Distracting. Seeing people around me busy with their work gets me motivated to work hard too.

I love it here in San Francisco, although I miss my family. I really like the city and its people, I love how random people would come up to me and strike up a conversation and how the systems actually work here. I like that diversity is celebrated. It's been only 4 months and I already feel like I belong here.

Malaysia? I want to love Malaysia. The country where I was born. 22 years I've spent my life there, and I still don't feel 'included'. When the politicians say 'rakyat Malaysia', I hear 'bumiputra'. I want to love Malaysia. I really do.

But home. I wish it was just an hour away. My Mauritian roommates and I- we'd always talk about how good it would be if there's such a thing as teleportation... so that we won't have to choose. Why isn't it possible to be in two places at once?

Anyway, living here on my own has made me realize how hard my mum had it all these years, doing most of the work around the house on her own. I know it's ridiculous that it took me 22 years, but thank you Mum. And Dad too of course, for the support all these years!


  1. awww hey babe! i miss you :) good to hear you're doing fine and i totally understand what you mean about feeling more "At home" in another country! i just came back from germany (From my 3rd trip there, cos my bf's native german) and i just felt so HAPPY and COMFORTABLE there! and being forced to be independant really woke up my idea cos i've had a maid nearly all my life! *spoilt* :P

    the pictures look goooood and good luck with everything! ♥

  2. why didn't I know you had a blog til just now (from your tweet) :(

    love the wip! koiiii <3 she kinda looks like she's trying to stop them from getting closer instead of dancing mm

  3. oh my lovely. it sounds like you're having a bit of an identity crisis. maybe SF is where your future lies? :) or perhaps you can use what you've learnt there to feel more at home in malaysia. maybe it'll be a bit different when you go home.

    i'm so glad to hear you're having such a wonderful time there, though. it sounds like such an amazing place! i'd love to visit one day!

    also, i'm in love with your new piece. it's so soft and whimsical. i love her face and hair, and your colours (as always). the comic looks great, too - i love your lines. i'm excited to see how it will progress. :)

    thank you for updating!! i have missedetetehted thee.

    PS. the security word i had to type in to prove i wasn't a spambot was: "liceride"

  4. miss seeing your work on deviantart, its so great (oh shoot ._.U that sounded a lil like a stalker lol im not). :) as i say youll do great on a lifestream
    well home is where you make it feel like home. bad english but what i try to say is that people special to you are not gonna leave, and youre gonna meet some new people that may be closer to you.

    i love the girl and the koi fish she really seems to have fun :3

  5. NatalieHunny:
    Hey you! How've you been? I know what you mean- I've been totally spoilt too. It's like everything gets done on its own. I'm going to try and help out more when I get home.

    Oh wow, Germany? I've never really been there before, but I have two roommates that speak German and French to each other, and I have no idea what they're saying 99.98% of the time. 8D

    Haha, that's okay. I haven't been updating in a while so you didn't miss much. I will try to update more from now on though!

    Oh no, she looks like she's trying to stop them? OTL

    VEEEEEEE! *runs for momentum and super-glomps you*

    Yeah, I'm thinking that maybe I'll feel differently when I get back too. We'll see. You MUST visit! If you do, I might be able to take you around a little? :D I just wish airfares weren't so bloody expensive.

    Yay, Vee likes the new piece! As for the comic... asdfafsadfadsf I don't know if I feel the same way. I can't see any beauty in my lines. Guh.

    LOL! Liceride? I wonder who comes up with these things.

    Karenin tres puntos:
    Uh, I don't know if lifestreaming suits my painting style. My painting process is all over the place and I wipe the canvas and start over a lot. And I take forever.

    Your English is fine, my dear. I know what you mean. The problem is that I want to be close to my home back in Malaysia... but I like living in San Francisco. I have met some amazing people here, but I have lots of great friends back in my country too.

    Oh and don't worry! I stalk a whole bunch of artists myself. ;) I'm happy that you like the painting!

  6. Hi, I bumped into your blog and I'm just amazed with your skills, and more than that, the feelings you can express with your art. It's been a while since I last saw such a soulful artist.
    But can I ask something I'm just curious about? Why do you start your painting in black and white and only come to colors later? How do you color, anyway?XD I found it really insteresting. Well, congratulations, you surely deserve it.

  7. Oh, another thing... what's the original size of this post's painting? The girl with the koi fish and clocks and stuff. It's just that I don't know how big I'd have to draw something to print it into a good quality...

  8. Hi Eve! Thanks for dropping by. I start in greyscale because I find it easier to get the values right first before dealing with color. As for how I color, it's all over the place. I use everything that comes to mind- layer adjustments, layer blending modes, color balance and regular painting. I usually keep adjusting and adjusting until I like what I see.

    The original size of this painting is 3000px X 4500px. I would work at a larger size if I had a better machine, but this size is enough for me to print a 20" X 30" at a decent resolution. (150dpi)

  9. Thanks for answering, you're so thoughtful ^^ I asked because I found it really curious. Guess i couldn't "color" in grayscale. XD but I'll give it a shot, haha. Seems interesting.

  10. racist and racism exist on what ever country in this world.. it depends on us to accept or fought against the ideology, for me, as a Malay personally~ i never ever have a problems living besides other race which calls Malaysia as their home, RACE make us proud of what we are and somehow make us special/unique in terms of tradition and cultural perspective and it was totally irrational to make it as an excuse to insult one another, plus history states that even the malays were not the original bumiputra in Malaysia.. if there were a bumiputra it would be the orang asli.. we jz happen to be originated in Malay archipelago and arrived here earlier than u guys.. that's all >:3 and one more thing~ skoo the politicians XX they jz love telling lies

  11. Boneka:

    Thank you for writing that. It's not so much the people of Malaysia that bothers me... this has more to do with the quota systems in Malaysia, along with political, economical and even the rights to education that is race-based. It annoys me to no end that the race card is being played so often on political debates. Even the most unbiased of Malaysians start to feel anger and fear for their rights and their future. Malays, Chinese, Indians- all of us. I, as a Chinese person in this country, cannot help but feel insecure as a citizen when I hear us described as 'pendatang'. It is absurd. I was born here, raised here and never thought of myself as anything but Malaysian, but suddenly here I am, labeled as a pendatang.

    And because there's no independent paper in our country, a large percentage of the rakyat take whatever they read in the newspaper at face value... which is bullshit because so much of what's written in the paper is filtered and far from neutral or accurate. I'm grateful for the existence of Malaysia-Today.Net, but even this is constantly under the risk of getting blocked by the government. You would know that the webmaster (RPK) has been arrested a number of times now under the ridiculous ISA.

    It really warms my heart to know that there are Malaysians out there like you, who think of us as part of our nation. It really does. But I've read so many terrifying comments by extreme advocates of the 'Ketuanan Melayu' notion on forums... you might have even seen them on YouTube from time to time. They say things like "All Chinese should've been raped and killed when the Japanese invaded" and other shit like that. I can't tell you how much it scares me to think that these are very real people roaming the streets of Malaysia.

  12. "All Chinese should've been raped and killed when the Japanese invaded" yea that's a real ~~~ right there....shame on them.. u know wat, i totaly agree with you, basically on everything~ yup there are some extreamist in malay community and i belived there are some in other community of races in malaysia.. even me myself honestly is a racist in the old days lolz but somehow i become realised that we always tends to see diffrencs on each other.. and somehow negleted the same things we share.. the same blue sky the same red blood the same digest systm..well if we start to see same thing instead of diffrences mb this whole racist bullshit will be over

    abaut the sistem beraja or as u say ketuanan melayu .. well how can i say this..for me personally.. system beraja or institusi diraja should not be feared because the system (if i'm not mistaken)oww allw me to speak malay.. kerana sistem beraja melabel raja/sultan sebagai khalifah atau pemimpin yang diutuskan tuhan untuk melindungi dan memerintah RAKYAT dan apabila kita menyebut tentang rakyat, ia bermaksud sesiapa sahaja yang bermaustatin di dalam lingkungan pemerintahan raja/sultan tersebut akan dikira sbgai rakyat dan harus dilindungi serta diadili sewajarnya tanpa mengira status serta bangsa, the phrase such as ketuanan melayu exist because the king/sultan which rules our home mlaysia from so long ago.. is a malay... well thats what i belive (or what i wanna belive) ketuanan melayu suppose to means..

    politics in malaysia nowdays is garbage.. lies, rasuah lol those jackass is a real clown and still they want ppl to acknowledge them as a pemimpin?! pejuang bangsa!? lol stop making me puke!! how can they see ppl needs if their eyes blinded with bucks !! ~>__<~ really2 mad bot this..pemimpin should work with each other to solve things, not fight and slender one another through media FT!! and one more thing skoo ISA i dont even understand why such thing exist huff~ sorry~

    anway Selamat Hari Raya >:3 sorry for making such a fuss in ur blog -__-