Sunday, September 20, 2009

Uncomfortable Silences

It's 5.25am.

I don't know what I'm doing or feeling. Today (or yesterday) was actually a pretty good day. I met up with a bunch of people at Borders to sketch, and had a lot of fun talking to a friend from Belgium about our backgrounds and how we feel about being in a foreign country... and then we went to a place that made good burritos for dinner.

I'm not sure what happened, but I walked home feeling really sad. I didn't understand it at all. My wonderful roommates made me feel better for a while. And we talked about how Darren Hayes' "So Beautiful" made us feel. And I guess we all feel a little lonely inside because we decided in the end that it made us feel almost... envious. And happy and warm. But envious. I suddenly wanted someone to sing the song to.

Anyway. That wasn't really part of what I came on to write, I think.

I feel like I've never let anyone see me for who I truly am and I hate how it's so hard and how I just don't understand why I can't or don't. I wish words didn't exist so that there's no such thing as uncomfortable silences between people. I wish we didn't have to laugh and talk all the time to show that we like each other. I wish that language didn't exist because I think there's too huge a difference between how we really feel and what we say to express how we feel. I think a lot is lost in that transition.

My eyes hurt now. I feel stupid and lost and confused and it's too quiet. I think need an hour-long hug and I really want to go to the beach right now. I went with some friends on Friday and totally fell in love with the way it sounded and smelled.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

The Dance of a Child Escapes Time

I finished the piece and even thought up a pretty title. Mummy and Daddy, hope you like!

The Dance of a Child Escapes Time

Photoshop CS4, Wacom Graphire4, Straw Paper


Link to deviation:

Also, there's a one-page feature of my work in this month's ImagineFX issue. I saw it at Borders but it's so expensive! (15.99 USD + tax = RM60.52) *hyperventilates and dies* But Jon Woodward was kind enough to send me a scan of that page. :D

I met a whole bunch of crazy students from the Academy of Art on Monday. (There were 10 of us in total, sketching at the cafe at Borders.) It was totally awesome meeting a group of people who share the same passion! I feel quite intimidated too- they're all so good at what they do. Me, I still need to work being able to draw in front of others. I'm terrible at performing under pressure.

Been doing a lot of thinking too, about whether or not I want to further my studies and eventually lead a life here. I think I'm going to apply for the graduate program.